Hello! Bear here!
Mom’s tired after a whole day away from home. She had to go by her old office in Albany, then get a new phone (cause Dad thought hers was dirty and washed it), then get her hair a different color on the roots. That roots thing doesn’t make sense to me, but if it’s something that makes Mom happy, it makes me happy too.
I learned a new trick this week – one that Mom and Dad haven’t figured out yet – so don’t TELL them!
You probably already know that for as long as Maddie has lived with Mom and Dad (over five years), she has slept with them. I mean right between them in the bed. Mom likes to pull Maddie up next to her on cold nights. She says it’s like having a little hot water bottle in the bed with you. Then, as soon as Mom is warm, she pushes Maddie back over next to Dad. Maddie doesn’t seem to mind all the back and forth between the two of them – she usually doesn’t even open her eyes – just keeps right on snoozing.
When I came to live with Mom and Dad, I had a really nice bed on the floor next to Mom’s side of the bed. They said something about me being too big to sleep up there with them. Have you seen that bed? It’s big enough for Mom, Dad, Maddie, me, two more dogs, a couple of cats, and maybe a hamster! But anyway, that was the rule, and I always obey the rules! I hardly ever slept in my dog bed because it was too hot. It had this fleece cover, and I just couldn’t get comfortable in it. So mostly I slept on the floor by the bed.
When Mom and Dad would both leave the house at the same time, I admit to getting on their bed, because it was just the best place to be. It was cool up there under the fan, and best of all – it smelled like Mom and Dad! I would always get right at the corner, facing the door, so I could hear their key as soon as it went into the doorknob. Then I could jump off and be down the hall before the door opened, and they would think I had been in the hallway the whole time they had been gone.
Right before we left for Michigan, Maddie (who liked to attack my fleece bed like it was an animal) tore up the covering, and Mom had to throw the whole thing away. She said, “Bear doesn’t like it anyway.” Well maybe not, but it was nice to have an option!
When we got back to the lake, I just started back sleeping by the bed on the floor. Sometimes when Mom came to bed and read, she would let me jump up next to her and snuggle until she was ready to turn off the light. Then she would say, “Off, Bear!” And I would jump off. Because that is what golden retrievers do – we obey! We are also smart!
I got to thinking about it. That big bed was really comfy, and I liked being with the rest of the family. One night, at 3:17 a.m. (I looked at the clock with the red numbers on it that glow in the dark), I jumped up on the foot of the bed (I knew there was no room up where the pillows were) and settled down. Mom and Dad both sat straight up in the bed at the same time and yelled, “Bear! Get off this bed!” Well, geez! So I got off.
For the next three nights, I tried the same thing. I’d jump on the bed, they’d wake up and yell at me. So I spent one whole night thinking about it some more. And I figured it out.
What I had to do was get on the bed without jumping! I had to sneak up there very quietly and carefully – like I weighed 2 lbs. instead of 79 lbs. Hmmmmm.
So here is what I did. I got up very close to the bed and sat down. Then I put both my front paws on the bed (like I’m about to say my prayers – something Mom is trying to teach me to do). Then I used my front feet as leverage and lifted my back end up. Then I put one back foot up on the bed (I can do that because the bed is low to the ground). From that point, all I had to do was silently heave myself up so all four legs are onboard. Then I very quietly stretched out at the end of the bed beyond the reach of their feet. And ta-dah! I’m sleeping on the bed.
The first morning Dad woke up and found me there, he said to Mom, “Why didn’t you tell Bear to get off the bed?” Mom looked funny and said, “I didn’t know he was on the bed.” Then they just looked at each other and then at me. “How’d he jump up here without us knowing it?” Dad asked. “Don’t know,” Mom said. “If I had felt him jump up, I would have made him get down.”
I just smiled – and it’s worked like a charm every night since. DON”T TELL!