This weekend will mark the third year without my Mom on Mother’s Day. So far there has never been a day that has passed that she hasn’t slipped into my mind in some way. I think about her most when I’m alone – sitting quietly on the sun porch, or driving somewhere. It’s in those situations that I talk to her – just like she is still sitting next to me. I pour out my joys and my sorrows, my successes and my defeats. How I miss the way I, even as a woman in my late 50’s, would walk over and sit on the floor in front of her chair. I’d put my head in my Mother’s lap and wait for her hand to brush gently over my hair and for her to say those magic words, “It’s going to be ok – it’s all going to be ok.” And I would always believe her. Because she was my Mom.
People told me that time would make it easier, and in small ways that is beginning to be true. I’m beginning to be able to focus more on the happy times we spent and less on the sadness of her last year. Mom was a quiet person, and she often told me how happy she was I took after my Daddy, who never met a stranger and could talk to anyone about anything. When she passed away, I spent days going through stacks and stacks of cards and clippings she had saved over the years. There was a small newspaper clipping of something I had gotten an award for in my job, and on the margin of the clip she had written, “I was always so proud of you and your daddy.” She knew I would find that note someday.
I’ve written about Mama one other time on this blog, but never in detail – and I’m still not ready to do that. One day I will tell you her story.
But for now, for this Mother’s Day, I’ll just share what was written on a frame I gave her once. In the photo, the two of us are sitting on a swing at Callaway Gardens, and it is still one of my favorite photographs of us. The inscription reads:
To The Mother Every Daughter Hopes For
You are my cushion when I fall.
Your love is unconditional.
You made our house a happy place to be.
You love me more than anyone.
I trust you . . . you never lie.
Even when you are angry, your eyes still say they love me.
Your warmth and love make me grow . . .
You always forgive me.
Whenever I need you, you’re always there.
If I could, I would give you anything in the whole world.
Happy Mother’s Day, Mama. I love you.