Posted by: bree1972 | December 7, 2010

Maddie Sounds Off 12/8/201

Enough already! 

Oh.  Hi.  Maddie here.

Enough already! 

I am so tired of hearing Bear did this, and Bear did that, and Bear is registered as a Therapy Dog, and Bear gets his own ID badge . . . blah, blah, blah!  Do you know what I have to say about that?  SO WHAT!

I know something that I can do waaaayyyyy better than Bear, and I don’t have to be registered OR have identification hanging around my neck to do it (after all, I know who I am without a badge).  Wanna know what it is?

I can force squirrels to do death defying aerial leaps out of the crabapple tree in the back yard.  Just watch this!

First - I spot the squirrel. Then I go into my "pinning the rodent with my laser beam stare" routine. It sort of hypnotizes them. I'm so still (like a piece of granite) that they think I'm not even breathing. But I'm looking directly into their eyes. "You are getting sleepy, you are gettingvery, very sleepy, your eyelids are starting to close." I learned this technique from watching The Animal Planet - you know where those guys "charm" snakes?


Once I have the squirrel totally under my spell, I inch forward until I am directly under the tree . . .


. . . and then I open up with my famous hound "squirrel howl", which, if everything is going like it should, scares the bushy-tailed creature into leaping from the tree and trying to make it across the yard without being caught.


Now if Bear happens to get up off his throne long enough to step outside, he might walk over and offer a little "woof" - geez, I'd hate for him to strain his vocal cords - he might not be able to vocalize sweetly enough for his "patients" if he actually barked!


Today, all Bear's "woof" did was cause the squirrel to double over laughing. So I had to stop what I was doing and go over and tell Bear to back off and let the expert finish the job . . .


. . . but when I left my post, the squirrel did a nose-dive off the limb in the OTHER DIRECTION! I HATE it when that happens!


"No, Furface, no more squirrels in the tree. And thanks to you, no squirrel in my mouth either!"


Oh well, tomorrow is another day . . . and another adventure. I'll try to do better next time, and maybe you can see me catch a squirrel. Of course, mom needs to keep "her special boy" inside while I'm working. Maybe she could wax his whiskers of something.



  1. All I can say is I LOVE IT!! Great job Maddie!!

  2. Maddie, you’re doing a great job of squirrel wrangling. It’s quite an involved process, I see. I’d really like to hear that howl!!!! Keep up the good work!

  3. Maddie the Squirrel Fighter…you’re a superhero! Now all you need is a cape. You already have the faithful sidekick Bear 🙂 Happy Wednesday!!

  4. That was too cute Maddie! Maybe it’s a good thing you didn’t catch a squirrel with
    Bear around. Who knows what he would have done. I know YOU can do it though. I like your idea of keeping Bear in the house and letting mom waxing his whiskers . Good one Maddie!! Always love hearing from you 🙂

  5. jealous pot….

  6. Maddie,

    You are definitely a spunky little gal with a big personality! You’re also cute as a button!

  7. Hahahaha!! Awww, Maddie – I knew you had an opinion on the whole Bear thing. Glad you were finally able to vent a bit!! You know we always love hearing from you…

  8. Maddie what a wonderful story. You should write a childrens book. You are delightful. More power to you!

  9. Maddie,

    I was just waiting for you to rebel. How much is a dogie supposed to take??? You are a great hunter. Bear is getting all of the ohhhs and ahhhs right now, but you are the best hunter and digger around, and very fast! Mom and dad still love you very much. You look so adorable resting on the couch. I love your collar, the color suits you to a “T”. You are the beautiful and “mighty” one!!! You go Maddie!!

  10. So glad to finally hear from you, Maddie. . .we HAVE been hearing all about Bear lately! You both are beautiful dogs, but something about your “hound” face has gotten to me. . .I have a yellow lab and a beagle and there’s just something about that face of my beagle. . .so don’t tell Bear, but you are kind of my favorite!! 🙂 Lots of dog kisses from the U.P. of Michigan!!

  11. Dear Fans,
    I have spent the day reading and enjoying all my fan mail from folks out there who think there is more to dogdom than big, furry blondes. Keep it up – I LOVE hearing from all of you.
    Yours truly,
    Maddie – the wonder dog!

  12. Love ya Maddie…..No. 1 squirrel hunter!!!

  13. Maddie rocks!

  14. Maddie,

    At first I thought thls blog was hilarious. Then, as I continued to read and look at the pictures, I realized it was no joke. Maddie, you are an amazing squirrel hunter and it’s about time we were all told about it. Bear may be very good as a therapy dog, but you are the best at keeping the place from being overrun by squirrels and other varmints. Yes, it’s probably better that he stay in the house “on his throne” and out of your way while you are outside keeping the place safe for habitation. Now I really know who is the “Queen of the castle.”

  15. Hi Maddie, you don’t know me, but we have a lot in common since I am Bridget the Fearless Squirrel Hunting Beagle and my baby brother is a yellow lab and a Delta Pet Partner. I’m tired of Happy Jack getting all the attention when I am clearly the Alpha dog here. I run and the squirrels all scatter in fear; Happy Jack runs and they ignore him. What a maroon.
    Anyway, Dad rescued a squirrel from drowning in the pool and put him in MY BLANKIE in a crate, in the bathroom, and with a heater. He was better the next day and Dad let him go back to his friends. Can you imagine the frustration of not being able to get to him in the crate, to say nothing of the humiliation of his using my blanket? Thanks for listening, I just know you understand. Keep up the good work.

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